My wife and I were... those parents.
One of the few couples keeping our teenager away from what we believed was the bane of her existence; as big a threat as poor body image, binge drinking and sexual encounters.
We're talking about the cell phone.
These teen toys keep young people from learning the important life lesson of how to be alone. Which, as Dr. Seuss teaches us in "Oh, the Places You'll Go," is "something that you'll be a lot."
One of the few couples keeping our teenager away from what we believed was the bane of her existence; as big a threat as poor body image, binge drinking and sexual encounters.
We're talking about the cell phone.
These teen toys keep young people from learning the important life lesson of how to be alone. Which, as Dr. Seuss teaches us in "Oh, the Places You'll Go," is "something that you'll be a lot."
http://www.safekids.com/cellphone.htm
More than anything, we didn't want to immerse our oldest daughter in a culture we saw as amplifying the idle, too-often destructive chatter that is the mean girl culture of teen America. We saw phones as a virus girls and the packs they run with could not shake. Constantly clicking on their phones in the middle of crowds and conversations seemed like no way to teach a young person how to be social "in the moment."
More than anything, we didn't want to immerse our oldest daughter in a culture we saw as amplifying the idle, too-often destructive chatter that is the mean girl culture of teen America. We saw phones as a virus girls and the packs they run with could not shake. Constantly clicking on their phones in the middle of crowds and conversations seemed like no way to teach a young person how to be social "in the moment."
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/otherparentingissues/i/kids_cellphones.htm
And then, we realized that this is a way kids communicate. Generation Text can be more efficient in their exchanges. "Maybe, our daughter can lead, and not follow the anti-social behaviors of GT?"
So how do parents mold the behaviors of something they'll rarely be present to oversee?
The old fashioned way; with a contract.
What you'll find below is the document my daughter signed onto to earn her first cell phone PRIVILEGES. That's right, it's not a kid's right to have a phone. Most kids don't know that.
As our oldest daughter, and teenager, we believe you have shown enough respect to your parents, your sisters and those around you, and have grown in your role in our family to earn the privilege of having your own phone.
To be clear, this is a privilege, not a right of being a teen. And so with that privilege will come a set of rules by which you may maintain your phone privileges.
You will be free to use this phone for personal use and for when you need to communicate with others.
You will abide by the telephone contract established by us with the service provider. We will provide for basic phone and text message service. If there is a need for more service, you will be held responsible for paying for it.
Failure to do so when monthly fees are due can result in the suspension or termination of your phone privileges.
You will also be responsible for maintaining the phone in a safe way. Its security is our family's security. Do no lose it. If you do, you can be held liable for paying for it and any costs that come with the need to establish a new account for the phone.
There are also rules we expect you to follow in accordance with phone privileges. They are as follows:
You will hand over your phone to your parents at 10:00 p.m. each day. When your parent is
not present, you will stop using your phone at 10:00 p.m. Your parents can monitor your phone calls and the times you make them. Please adhere to this policy.
You will not use your phone during class time or anytime school prohibits phone use.
*No use during meals.
*No use during church.
*No use when guests are at our home.
*No use during conversations with others, unless the phone is being used to obtain information for use during the conversation.
*No indecent or inappropriate use of your phone by you or anyone who uses it. You will be held responsible for either.
*You will phone your father once a day.
Failure to adhere to the rules listed, or any other aspect of this agreement can lead to suspension or termination of phone privileges.
And then, we realized that this is a way kids communicate. Generation Text can be more efficient in their exchanges. "Maybe, our daughter can lead, and not follow the anti-social behaviors of GT?"
So how do parents mold the behaviors of something they'll rarely be present to oversee?
The old fashioned way; with a contract.
What you'll find below is the document my daughter signed onto to earn her first cell phone PRIVILEGES. That's right, it's not a kid's right to have a phone. Most kids don't know that.
As our oldest daughter, and teenager, we believe you have shown enough respect to your parents, your sisters and those around you, and have grown in your role in our family to earn the privilege of having your own phone.
To be clear, this is a privilege, not a right of being a teen. And so with that privilege will come a set of rules by which you may maintain your phone privileges.
You will be free to use this phone for personal use and for when you need to communicate with others.
You will abide by the telephone contract established by us with the service provider. We will provide for basic phone and text message service. If there is a need for more service, you will be held responsible for paying for it.
Failure to do so when monthly fees are due can result in the suspension or termination of your phone privileges.
You will also be responsible for maintaining the phone in a safe way. Its security is our family's security. Do no lose it. If you do, you can be held liable for paying for it and any costs that come with the need to establish a new account for the phone.
There are also rules we expect you to follow in accordance with phone privileges. They are as follows:
You will hand over your phone to your parents at 10:00 p.m. each day. When your parent is
not present, you will stop using your phone at 10:00 p.m. Your parents can monitor your phone calls and the times you make them. Please adhere to this policy.
You will not use your phone during class time or anytime school prohibits phone use.
*No use during meals.
*No use during church.
*No use when guests are at our home.
*No use during conversations with others, unless the phone is being used to obtain information for use during the conversation.
*No indecent or inappropriate use of your phone by you or anyone who uses it. You will be held responsible for either.
*You will phone your father once a day.
Failure to adhere to the rules listed, or any other aspect of this agreement can lead to suspension or termination of phone privileges.
Like the part about calling Dad, too. One way to get her to stay in touch, heh?
Will she run into some of the contract's terms? She's a responsible kid. We'll see. But if anything, it sets the expectation that phones aren't just a social status toy. This is not a pair of Uggs or an outfit from Abercrombie. Phones are tools.
It's her dime.
It's her dime.
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